Healing the Past

One of the biggest blocks in achieving happiness is the memory of a painful past. I realize that the past is always a part of us. I thought I can forget the past but I just can’t. It stays. However, I can purify it, meaning, I can’t let the past hinder me in enjoying and appreciating the joy of living. The past is just there, like a sleeping dog. When it barks, I can just tame it and let it behave.

I must disclose that one of my wounds in the past is a painful conflict with my Dad. Although I had long forgiven him but seeing him from time to time would involuntarily make me remember what happened between the two of us during my younger years. When I started to raise my own family, bringing them to our home, there were instances that he emotionally hurt my kids. So my wound was revived.

Last Friday, my son, Lecarre told me to invite Dad for his graduation. At first, I was hesitant but I knew my son just wanted all of us to be happy, leaving behind on what happened before. I was touched by his unconditional kindness.

So I approached Dad and invited him. I was surprised when he suddenly cried, saying, “Wa gyud kaabot si Momy sa graduation ni Lecarre!” What he meant that my mother, who passed away last September, had never reached her grandson’s graduation.

Dad’s genuine act melted me. I thought he never valued my sons. I thought only mom cared for my offspring.

On the next day,  he proved himself. He woke up early which he rarely used to do. He prepared himself just to attend my son’s graduation. He even told me that he was supposed to wear Barong if I wear the same kind of outfit. He didn’t bother the heat inside the car as the aircon broke down again. He didn’t mind the long traffic getting inside the campus. He patiently waited for the graduation rites to be over. He gladly posed with us during the family picture and during lunch celebration.

Last Sunday, I saw my younger son, Lance, talking to my dad. It seemed they were conversing fondly.

I realize life has a clever way in putting things back in order where the pain of the past is gradually healed.  We just have to allow the happy events to flow so the painful past is purified.

Black and White Closet

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